Giving Thanks for Family — Seen and Unseen

Thanksgiving is a time for returning to the nest — more of us travel long distances on this annual pilgrimage to home and hearth than at any other time of year.

My Thanksgivings are always spent surrounded by family, both seen and unseen. I travel from almost as far south in America as it’s possible to get — Orlando, FL — to almost as far north as it’s possible to get — Boston, MA. Sometimes it’s just me and my parents, and we travel to my aunt’s house to have a large Thanksgiving dinner with three generations of her family. Sometimes my brother and his wife, and my sister and her family, converge on us, and we have a houseful of people large and small devour my mother’s home-cooked feast. Either way, the holiday is invariably about family more than food. The thing we most often give thanks for is that we were all able to come together for yet another year.

My house is a bit more unusual than others, I guess. I’ve been told that most Americans don’t know much about their ancestors or their heritage, and can rarely name anyone from further back than their grandparents’ generation. But my mother has filled the house with pictures of our ancestors — my teenage grandmother lined up with her 6 siblings, shortest to tallest; my grandfather in his WW1 uniform or with his twin brother; my great grandparents in late 19th century garb. These pictures cluster in a shrine right at the top of the stairs, and also cover the mantelpiece over the fireplace.

In our family, the women have always been the keepers of the family history. Sitting around the kitchen table or driving to our destination, they pass oral tradition down from generation to generation through stories told over the holidays. My mother marks each homecoming by drawing her grandchildren’s attention to the pictures around the living room. Naming each person, she makes them memorable by telling a little story about them. Stories about people in the pictures spawn memories of other, older generations who are not pictured. They become part of the rich ancestral tapestry too.

The result of all this is that our house is always filled with many, many more family members than just those who are physically present. Memories of generations past build up an atmosphere thick with history, interconnectedness, and love. Older members of the family pass on, but they are still felt as a palpable presence as we gather from all over the country to celebrate together.

I don’t know about you, but I cherish this feeling — this sense that I am surrounded by love, and don’t really need to miss those who have passed on, because they are still most definitely with me. They always feel especially close at times like Thanksgiving, for all the reasons stated above.

Would you like to feel this way?

Would you like to cultivate a continuing relationship with beloved family members who have passed on?

Would you like to take your place in the web of interconnectedness that creates a family’s heritage?

Then read on…

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